So many times in life we run into conflict that just doesn't resolve.
Many times we can just cut losses and move on, because as the saying goes: "No one needs that kind of negativity in their life!"
But if life was so simple that we could just cut out anyone who disagrees with us, and wait for them to get their act together, nothing in life would ever get done.
Because many times our enemies, competitors, or political opponents are the gatekeepers to getting done the things we want. It could be the boss that doesn't like you, the family member that makes life difficult for you, the key employee that doesn't listen, the guy on the non-profit board that has completely different plans than you, or your political opponent that uses a completely different set of facts.
We both simultaneously condemn them to be lower class, uneducated, hateful, or immature. At the same time we also expect them to be the ones that do all the changing, apologizing, and making the first step.
And if you wait for these people to change on their own, you're going to be waiting for a heckuva long time.
There is only one unpleasant solution that has any chance of working:
Find common ground, build relationships, and work on problems you can solve together.
Patience is lacking in business and politics.
Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to do the work required. They believe that the only solution is a quick political win to make all their problems go away.
Yes, things are urgent, and the time to act is now. But they take even longer if you don't start making small progress now.
Take climate change for example:
Pollution is something everyone can get behind. It's something both those that believe in man-made climate change and those who don't can work on together.
But where do both sides start?
One side starts with demanding the entire world economy to change tomorrow. And the other starts by refusing to do anything. One is accused of being an alarmist, the other accused of being a science denier.
And where has that gotten everyone?
But if you start with the premise that anything other than a 100% victory is a loss, then nothing will get done because your opponents are likely playing the same game too.
This isn't the movies where all of the earth comes together to fight the aliens.
This isn't a storybook where a single, heartfelt speech makes everyone change their minds instantly.
In the real world, no matter how important your mission is, or how dire the situation, the actual battle isn't doing the work. It's getting the necessary people on your team working together.
The sooner we can move away from taking powerful speeches that we believe in, and using them as a weapon to force our opponents to change, the sooner we can start doing the meaningful work of making change happen.
"I have a dream" was the beginning of a journey. Not the ending.
Patience is the #1 thing lacking in business and politics.
- Customers don't just hear about you and throw money at you.
You have to win them over. One piece of content at a time. Building trust as you go. - Politicians and voters don't just hear a zinger, meme or a single article, and instantly see the error of their ways.
- If members of your team or organization are dysfunctional, no single meeting or set of rules is going to make people get along.
If you want to win, you have to do the work.
and that work is relationship building.
In marketing, it's content and branding.
In politics its having shared objectives and bipartisan wins.
In organizations and company teams, it's team building, getting to know people and talking to them outside of work.
It's not fair you have to do more work than them. Deal with it.
If you want to succeed in life without lying, cheating, having ulterior motives, or making meaningful change in the world: Then you already know that you're going to be working 10x harder than everyone else.
It takes more effort to be the bigger man.
It takes a lot longer to score a political win to be more understanding.
It takes eating dirt, not reacting to insults, and ignoring every time you are wronged if you want to reach someone lost.
But if you have a mission, a purpose, or a higher calling that is above winning today's argument, then it's time to own up to the responsibility, and know that you chose a harder path.
And if you start taking shortcuts, and doing things because the other guy is doing it...
then don't complain when people can't tell the difference between the bad guys and you.
